Biploar Holidays Revisited

It’s that time of year again; time to get ready for the holidays. Gray skies, falling temperatures, daylight receding into night earlier. Time to take the holiday cheer out of the closet and bedeck the house with it. This is the season for gratitude.

Does this sound like too much of a cliché? We’ve all heard these well-worn platitudes before. For those struggling with mental illness, it can seem like pleas for thankfulness emitted from some goody- two-shoes view of reality. For what should someone with bipolar disorder feel blessed?

I ponder my reply to that last question. What should my response be? Is your medication working? Do you feel like you’re on a roller coaster of ever-changing moods? Do your moods shift between depressive lows and intermittent normalcy; normalcy, which is a reprieve from unending manic excess that gives no thought to the inevitable consequences of feeling too good tomorrow?

Do you have family and friends to gather with, or has your life become an isolated trek through the cold and gloom of a winter-night darkness? Is there any relief for what seems like glib attempts to squeeze one more drop out of a stale appeal for holiday solidarity? Is there an opportunity for genuine caring? My counsel for those afflicted with mental illness is—hope. Gratitude springs from the hope that things will be different, and the activity of that difference can bring change that is satisfying and healing. In short--to care. Too much time spent in expectation of better times with too little perceived results can cause burnout.

Perhaps the one true spirit of the season is to rededicate one’s self. Can we acknowledge what we hope is true? Can we have gratitude for the opportunity to hope anew that life has meaning and our struggle is redeeming? Attitude rules change for the mentally ill and their families who cling to the belief that no matter how fleeting or pervasive their circumstances are, these circumstances are not static, but constantly changing and yielding to the betterment of their lives. This belief puts us in a position to be thankful for what we have. Attitude defines the ability to change. The gains are there to see.

The holiday season can remind us of how much we, as people, have in common with one another, if we pull together. And that can be shared again and again throughout the year.
Happy holidays to all who read this, beginning with a thankful Thanksgiving.

Ten Suggestions for Holiday Survival

1. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.
2. Count your blessings; make a list of them.
3. Accept the limitations you currently have creating goals that apply year round.
4. Concentrate your caring outwardly, not inwardly.
5. Encourage an open attitude of tolerance.
6. Avoid isolation by gathering with others.
7. Refute negative thoughts.
8. Meditate on living in the present.
9. Avoid excessive alcohol use.
10. Practice random acts of kindness.

Women's Issues and Bipolar

Women’s issues, when it comes to bipolar disorder, are many; all focused on a sense of identity and autonomy. In the culture as a whole, females have a particular array of unique problems arising from the way society views them.

When lost in mania or depression, there is a difficulty connecting emotionally with others. While it is true for most females, seeking identity in relationships has special meaning for those caught in the polarization that comes from bipolar disorder. Sliding back and forth in mood is unique to this illness. Cycling makes it hard to deal with the shuffling between nurturing and maintaining one’s identity. This can impact a sense of self-control, leading some women to promiscuity in a vain attempt to be cared for and valued by their partner. Only a female can know the shame and sense of degradation that stems from trying to find worth in relationships.

Being supported versus financial independence can keep many women with mental illness bouncing back and forth in a never-ending loop of seeking their own sense of self-esteem and catering to a partner who has a narrow vision of their worth. Often this leads to identity confusion that can be magnified by manic distortion.

Flagrant bipolar disorder can handicap a woman when parenting her children. Dancing to mania’s allure can cause many to ignore their parenting responsibilities, only to be left bereft of dignity when they recover from a manic escapade.
Repercussions stemming from a mental illness make the struggle for recovery a special dilemma for women. Added to their already overburdened loss of personal power only adds to the stigma they experience.

All of this together lends to an urgency to heal. Yet, qualities unique to women can aid in a return to health, while the draw to connect with others can lead to emotional support. Women have the potential to be gatekeepers to recovery for themselves and their families When stable, their ability to nurture can save lives threatened by emotional instability. Whether it be their children, their partners, or the community at large, they have a unique corner on healing. It’s through their ability and strength that we all prosper emotionally. Women are caretakers by nature, but they need to learn to take care of themselves when mental illness strikes.

The Depressive Side of Manic Depression - Five Ways to Cope with Depression

Depression is not a one size fits all kind of illness. It comes in various sizes and shapes. Each variety has its symptoms and effects. I have had all types of depression—biochemical, situational, and the blues type of depression.

Biochemical depression (unipolar or bipolar) is a genetic, chemical imbalance type of depression and doesn’t require an identifiable stressor, though this often serves as the impetus. My lapses into depression following a manic episode were biochemical. Situational depression, often less virulent than biochemical, can be serious and potent, brought on by a negative life situation (often starting out mild and increasing in intensity). It can be equally as devastating as a biochemical depression. It is a response to a situation that threatens stability. Chronic, low-grade depression known as dysthymia, can be even more insidious and long-lasting. It is often described as “the blues” or “the blahs.” While initially not as impactful as the first two, you are still able to take care of a home and raise children. There is a nagging discontent, a tendency to see the cup as half empty. Its manifestation is often termed being negative. It, too, can turn deadly or contribute to the onset of a deeper despondency. I have had my share of blue days.

I recall a time after a particularly high flying grandiose drama, waking up alone in my apartment to a sense of panic, the loss of my manic high resolving in a sudden drop into nothingness. The crassness of my drop in mood, a crash into the terror of losing touch with life, caused panic; and in that moment I could only foresee my demise. For several hours I was imminently suicidal. Luckily, I was able to pick up the phone and call my sister. After a period of several hours, I regained my emotional footing.

I can only conjecture what would have happened had I not made that phone call. I could not be alone at that moment. It was too overwhelming. When you are that far from a spiritual home, you are filled with hopelessness. Such can be the grip of depression.

Although I still continue to fight depression, I am free of manic episodes and have been for nearly 25 years. Following are ways I have found helpful in coping with depression:

Five Ways to Cope With Depression

1. Consult your doctor and therapist.
2. Get someone to stay with you until you feel better or stay with a friend.
3. Create a routine to keep from ruminating. Avoid extended inactivity.
4. Treat yourself with kindness.
5. Join or help create a support group.

Depression and Bipolar Disorder - The Difficulty of Diagnosis

A major side of the bipolar equation, the depressive side, is also a part of life for those afflicted with bipolar disorder. Like its unipolar cousin, the depressive side of bipolar illness is so much a part of my life. Biological in origin and unlike mania, it has no sense of the grandiose. Where mania is inflating, depression is deflating.

Typically, I was inclined more toward mania than depression in my bipolar days. While I have suffered several significant depressive periods since becoming floridly bipolar, the manias with their psychotic flair were more problematic for me. Therefore, I didn’t always recognize depression when it was upon me. In the early years of my marriage, a challenge occurred, which is a nice way of referring to a crisis. Depressive stays in bed began to occur. Eventually, my failure to perform normal daily tasks such as going to work or arising early in the day became problematic, more acute. Neither my wife nor I saw the problem as depression, which comes in various sizes and shapes.

I marvel now at how we were able to withstand the strain we felt in those years of darkness and alienation. I was weak and impotent and unsure of myself. Through therapy, I soon realized I was depressed.

Ten Ways to Recognize Bipolar Depression

1. Lack of pleasure or Enjoyment.
2. Loss of desire or motivation.
3. Reclusive behavior, avoidance of social connection, isolating.
4. Difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. Excessive napping during the day.
5. Difficulty focusing, vegetative behavior.
6. Irritability.
7. Decline in personal hygiene.
8. Anxiousness coupled with thoughts of activity, leading to inaction.
9. Ongoing achiness, soreness, or tingling despite treatment for physical ailments.
10. Decline in sense of self-worth.