Bipolar disorder is one of the most elusive illnesses we know of. Recognizing our thoughts are askew and our judgment is impaired is a risky business for those struggling with a mental illness. It all seems so sensible in our delusional state. We need to come to the conclusion there is an impairment in our functioning that prevents us from living life normally. Sometimes life is the best teacher.
As the morning overcast burned off, I pondered my pending appointment with a psychiatrist. Up until his point I had been able to work and take care of myself. I stood on the sidewalk in front of a shabby hotel. I had been offered a job painting a room in exchange for rent. Prepared to paint the room, my thoughts raced as I worked. I became less and less able to function. Lost in thought, I could not seem to retrieve my focusing ability. My mind wandered. At the end of the day, I had less than one wall painted. I had cause for alarm as I realized I could not concentrate enough to work.
I never did finish painting that room. I knew that something major had happened to me, but I didn’t understand the ramifications. Part of me felt disbelief at the thought I had a major illness, a major mental illness. It would be a long time and further episodes before my denial would give way to a desire to understand the illness.
Fifteen Ways to Recognize It’s Time For Treatment
- Lack of focus.
- A decrease in ability to do activities of daily living.
- Difficulty expressing oneself.
- Distrust of those around you.
- Ignoring stressors.
- Perseveration----Constant going over thoughts.
- Avoidance of contact with others.
- Questioning the motives of others.
- Irritability.
- Extended periods of sleeplessness.
- Decrease in self-care.
- Inability to do work.
- Isolating yourself.
- Excessive energy.
- Inability to relax.
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