The Uncertainty of Bipolar Disorder

Life means managing uncertainty, moving ahead in the face of doubt. Mental illness has already started a sense of apprehension that the world may not be the way it seems to the senses. The worst conviction has been upheld.

For someone with mental illness, one has to question fundamentally the notion of the way one perceives things to be. It strikes at the most profound sense, the sense of certainty, the belief in the assurance we can trust our thoughts. Unlike others, the mentally ill have to second guess themselves. This is how doubt sets in. Like the well, the mentally ill cannot dwell in a place of shattered conviction. Those so diagnosed have to get on with life. But, it is not without a price paid. Questioning one’s sanity is to question something of substance and familiarity, a fact, not merely some intellectual exercise or conundrum one entertains, then puts aside. You can’t put aside psychosis, it doesn’t work that way. Instead, psychosis puts you aside.

For the mentally ill, moving on, passing a defining moment and proceeding on with life is about being given second chances. Being restored to mental health is to never face life again in exactly the same manner as before. It’s about being moved emotionally by what to others may be the mundane. It’s about clarity of vision lost on those who have never had to doubt themselves.

What have you learned about yourself and life as a result of having bipolar disorder?